Someday, I may choose a career goal...ie, I'll know what I want to be when I grow up. It seems like every few months or so I think up a career I may like to follow. Then, inevitably, because of my lack of motivation to follow that path, I just decide, "Eh, it probably wasn't for me, anyway." So, what is my newest career interest? Cooking. I was doing some research yesterday, and I found that there is a cooking school in Durham called Chez Bay Gourmet, and Wake Tech offers a curriculum in culinary technology (whatever that means). I'm leaning more towards the former because it sounds more like a trades school, where you would just learn what you need to get started on your career. I've already been through college and gotten all the arts and sciences courses. Now, I just want to figure out what I want to do and what additional training I need to get there.

- 10/24/2006


I had a pretty good weekend, although I think it left me tired for this Monday morning. Saturday was chock full of fun stuff because I went to the fair with my sweetie. It's interesting to think how much the fair changes from when you're younger. I remember when I was little, I used to like to go to the county fair so that I could ride all those fast rides. I don't mind rides now, but I guess my grown-up mentality keeps me from getting on a fast moving ride that only took a couple of days to assemble. I guess I just trust the established theme parks (like Carowinds) a little better. Anyway, the fair these days has become a place to get lots of interesting food, play a couple of games, and see a few exhibits. I never really went to the state fair until I started dating Cliff. He goes every year, and until recently, I didn't have the desire to go. That's probably because I didn't really have anyone to go with me, and it's just not as fun alone. Anyway, at the fair, I ate too much (elephant ear, fried cheese, ostrich burger, fried moon pie, and roast corn), but luckily Cliff and I split most of the food. We played a couple of games, and I'm happy to say that I had a 100% winning streak. I played 2 competitive games, and won both of them. Maybe Cliff's my lucky charm. So, needless to say, the fair was a pretty good time.

The other fun thing Saturday was FAME. It was a Halloween theme, so there were lots of interesting costumes present. This also marked my debut into DJ'ing. I don't think being a DJ is something I would want to do on a regular basis, but it was kinda fun this one time. I picked a playlist that one of my friends made up a long time ago, and I added some other stuff to it. We barely had enough to cover the 4.5 hours we were there, but all worked out. We got complimented on our music choices, so we must have done something right. I just gotta keep from getting roped into DJ'ing regularly...

- 10/23/2006


Whenever you let your domestic duties go, you tend to forget simple things. Recently, I've been struggling with trying to remember how to use my sewing machine. Last night, the bright light flashed on me, and I realized why it hasn't been working right...I haven't been putting the presser foot down. I had to give myself a mental head slap as it was such an obvious mistake. But other than that, last night I actually took care of some household chores I'd been neglecting. I ripped a couple of my CDs for the iPod. I moved my sewing machine into the guest room/office. I did my laundry and started picking up some of the clutter that tends to collect. Otherwise, I have a lot of cleaning to do tonight. Cliff will be home tomorrow afternoon from his trip, and I would like the house to be in order. I need to vaccuum, sweep and mop, clean the bathrooms, dust, tidy the cat room, spot clean the carpet (although, I really should use the shampooer), finish picking up the clutter, wipe off the counters, wash sheets/towels, and probably lots of other stuff I can't remember...and all that doesn't include a visit from Heather to fix her costume (hence the getting out of the sewing machine). Oy, it's going to be a long night, but all this stuff definitely needs to get done.

- 10/18/2006


I never believed people when they said they relied on someone being next to them to get a good night's sleep. Normally, I don't get deep sleep anyway because of dreams, the cats, or any other little thing that shakes me awake. So, I didn't expect my first night alone to be that difficult. But it was. Not having Cliff next to me felt...empty, for lack of a better word. He's only been gone to Chicago for less than a day, but I miss him terribly. At least we can talk on the phone, but I just hope I'll get some better sleep for the rest of the week. Monday work day after fitful sleep...ugh! I don't remember having bad dreams. I just remember having a sense of ill-content, like something wasn't right. Oh well...it's only for a few days. I can wait for the end of the week to sleep.

- 10/16/2006


Cliff will be preparing to leave for a business trip on Sunday, and I need to help him start getting his stuff together. With all the restrictions on airline travel, I want to make sure that he's well taken care of without having to deal with a lot of delays. This world is so messed up. Why are people like this? Why are people so mean towards others they don't even know? It just doesn't make sense, but I guess I'll never understand other people's causes that are not my own. Honestly, in my opinion, attacking innocent people only sends the message that you are a jerk. And I don't like that bullshit about Americans (or whomever your enemies are) are not innocent just because of where they are born. Ok, breathe...I'm not going to get into this rant. I just wanted to say that it's getting really difficult to go anywhere because of the unfortunate need for travel restrictions.

- 10/13/2006


I miss Amsterdam. I know it's been several months since I returned. I know I don't talk about it a lot. But I really do miss it. It was a wonderful city, and the entire time I was there, I felt at peace. I know, I'm supposed to feel at peace on vacation. But when Cliff and I went to the mountains, I can't say that I felt the same way. Maybe it's because in Amsterdam I'm cut off from the world here. In the mountains, bothering me is only a phone call away. But either way, I feel more stressed (even when I'm not at work) here. Let's face it, in general, I'm a raving bitch. I don't have a lot of tolerance for stupidity, and I tend to lose my cool rather easily. I'm not good at making decisions, yet for some reason, I want the stress of trying to lead others in events that require my decisions. In Amsterdam, I didn't know anyone, so I didn't know anyone's stupidity. I didn't have to make any decisions about where to go because I let my feet guide me. It's really sad that I'm this short-tempered because I preach about being tolerant of others in my social group. Hey, I never said that I wasn't a hypocrite. If nothing else, I want to get past that. I don't have to like everyone (and I don't, as I've stated before), but why can't I just allow people to be who they are without feeling agitated towards them? Just because their personality doesn't mesh with mine doesn't mean anything. They can be who they are, and I can be who I am. If I don't want to be around them, I don't have to be. Ok, this rant went in an entirely different direction. The main point is that I'm feeling a little sad that I'm not still enjoying that beautiful city where I felt the most relaxed I've been in years.

- 10/11/2006


My first rejection letter for all my job applications came in the mail yesterday. Well, technically it's not my first since I have applied to jobs before. But it's my first in this latest bout of applications and resumes I've sent out. It's a little disheartening to hear that I'm not qualified for something...I know better than that. Occasionally, I'll apply for something I know I don't have a chance in fiddlesticks of getting, but for the most part, I stick with admin positions. I know that I'm qualified for those, but only having library experience is hindering me. It's sad, but I'm still determined to find that job...the one that I wouldn't dread going to, the one that is semi-close to where I live, the one that really challenges me. I wonder if it's out there...I wonder if I'll know it when I see the job ad. Only time will tell. Until then, I'm still hunting and sending out my application materials.

- 10/10/2006


I went to a goth/industrial concert festival this weekend. It was a lot of fun. I got to play dress up (and try out one of my new wigs) as well as hearing some interesting music. My favorite band there was Anders Manga. Something about the way they use their synthesizers is really cool to me. My favorite song by them is called Shiver (click the link to see a video from their site). If you haven't heard of them and you like goth/industrial music, I highly recommend you check them out. And for all you Myspace gurus out there, they have a Myspace page too. I don't usually get this excited over a band, but not only are they talented, but they were so nice too (I got to meet Anders and Devallia after their set).

- 10/9/2006


Everytime I visit a plant shop I start thinking that perhaps I have a green thumb. This just isn't true. It's not because I couldn't do it...it's because I forget about the poor plants. Maybe someday I'll be responsible enough to care for them. For now, I'll enjoy their beauty from afar.

And now, for Stephanie's "boneheaded" moment of the day. Today, I got dressed, walked out the door, and drove to the parking lot for work without realizing that I was wearing 2 different shoes. It wouldn't have been so bad had they been the same color, but one was light blue and one was black. I noticed this walking from my car to the bus. In hopes of not appearing to be an idiot, I hid my feet under me for the bus ride and hightailed it over to Student Stores. The only footwear they had were shower shoes (ie, plastic flip flops). So, I opted for that over looking like a mismatched moron. And it only cost $2.13 not to look like an idiot.

- 10/6/2006


I really don't like it when people make insane demands of others, especially when they use the "I'm a paying customer" excuse for why the business should make the changes immediately for them. It's just ridiculous. Businesses make business decisions all the time for what they think will help both their product and their customers. And sometimes they have to deal with controversy from their customers because of it. But why can't everyone just react respectfully towards each other? I know the world doesn't work that way, but I guess I'm a little more sensitive about it because I have to deal with insane demands in my own work. I guess I just get tired of the selfish attitude that permeates society. It seems that everyone is ego-centric. "I don't like this, and since the world revolves around me, you must fix it immediately." It's just ludicrous...

Oh, and this weekend was the big walk for the American Diabetes Association. It was a 10K (6.2 miles for all you lay people). That's a lot of walking, but I made it. And I felt really good about it. I'm sending out a big thank you to my most wonderful man, because he helped me meet my fundraising goal while he exceeded his own. You're most awesome, Cliff.

- 10/2/2006

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2005 Archives

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