Yesterday was my daddy's birthday. I thought of him often, as this is the first year I've had to spend
without him. I miss you, Daddy. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish he was here with me.
- 2/28/2006
Yuck! HTML coding hurts my head sometime. I'm actually surprised that I want to take a break from that
to work on this blog where I do a little light coding, but this is of course fun. So, anyway, that isn't the point of this
post. Basically, I'm really excited about going to Amsterdam. It will be my first international vacation and most likely a
life changing event. I'm sure it will make an appearance on this site under "Life Events". Anyway, there is so much
left to plan. Should we rent bikes while we're there? Where are some cheap places to eat? What should we see first?
We have already begun planning and saving of course. I'm also trying to chitchat and email people who actually live there
to give me the information. Some of have been responsive...some not so much. But either way, I plan on having the best
experience ever.
- 2/22/2006
Why does everyone around here keep wishing for snow? I think I've expressed my dislike for snow before, but
here it is again. It will probably happen once or twice every winter I write in this thing. But around work, I keep
hearing people wish for snow. I don't like snow. Let me rephrase. I don't like being in snow. If I can watch snow from
a distance, then it's fine. When I actually have to get out to go somewhere, then it's just a nuisance. And people are
wishing for snow. I don't know about them, but I don't want to use my vacation days over winter weather.
- 2/21/2006
It's so sad when a company discontinues a product that you really like. I really liked the Suave bar soap
with vitamins, but I can't find it anywhere. When I contacted Suave to ask them where I can get some, I got the sad news
that they discontinued it. It's a little disheartening trying new things only to know that they could be temporary.
Such is life, I guess. I only wish I didn't always go for the "underdog" temporary items.
- 2/17/2006
I really hate being sick. I'm becoming addicted to WebMD to help me
figure out what my ailments are. Any time I have the slightest bit of pain, I go to WebMD. I'm not a hypochondriac by
any means. But I like trying to figure out what I have before I hop over to the doctor's office. I hate going to the
doctor.
- 2/16/2006
I'm about to be a hypocrite, so brace yourselves! Ok, yesterday was Valentine's Day. I have mixed feelings
about this so-called holiday. On the one hand, I feel that it's just another excuse for businesses to try to get people
to make unnecessary purchases. On the other hand, I feel like it's ridiculous to have a day that proves how much someone
loves another person. To me, it's more meaningful if I get a gift or gesture on a day that hasn't been nationally mandated.
It's funny because this year I actually had a Valentine. I can't remember ever having one. Sure, I've had boyfriends in '
previous years on Valentine's Day...but they weren't my "Valentine". Basically, that means that they made no effort to
treat my special on that day. I know that's a direct contradiction to my rant just a few sentences back (again, the
hypocrite thing), but honestly, I would have been just as content making dinner for my sweetie and sitting back for a nice
relaxing evening than going out in the crowd. Either way, I felt special last night, and it was nice to actually feel
like someone appreciates me.
- 2/15/2006
Having secrets is really fun! Whispering to other people about something you only want to share with them
is fun too. I don't know how many times growing up I heard "It's not polite to whisper" from someone. That used to irk
me to no end. The people who say that phrase are the ones who are just jealous that they are not included in on the
secret. I've sat and watched 2 people whispering about something, and while I might be curious about it, it's not my
business to tell them what they can or cannot do in public. If you have something you only want to share with one person
in a group, then that's your right. Let's not bring Miss Manners into every little thing just because of jealousy.
- 2/13/2006
One of my flaws is that I crumble really easily over conflict. No, it's not really that I crumble over
conflict, it's more that when I'm wrong about something and get criticized for it, I feel so awful about myself. It's
probably just a hint of my emotional instability, but in general, I don't like being wrong. Of course, no one can be
right all of the time, but the thing is that I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong, with many apologies for it.
It's funny really...I know people who are of the mindset that they are never wrong. It doesn't matter if all indications
point to their errors, they're never wrong. And they will buck up to someone who tries to give a dressing-down to them
of their errors. I just can't do that. Unless I know that I'm right or that someone is over-reacting about a certain
circumstance, I will cower when someone gives me a dressing-down. I just really want to please everyone and not make
mistakes. That's hard to do when you're only human.
- 2/10/2006
I must be feeling nostalgic today. It's one of those days when I start thinking about the difference
between childhood and adulthood. Today's subject it how taste buds change so drastically. When I was a kid, I liked
Totino's pizza, bubble gum-flavored toothpaste, and all that sugary candy kids still eat. Now that stuff makes me
squeamish, particularly the toothpaste. I drank some V8 tonight, knowing that I would hate it. I haven't had it
in years, and I just remembered thinking that there's no way I can drink something that tastes like that. I actually
enjoyed it last night. What has become of me! I'm getting to that point where I think in terms of "those kids today", and
I don't like it. I always said I would never be one of those people. I would never be that relative who says "I
remember you when you were this tall" and "my how you've grown". Please don't let me become one of those people. Well,
I still like Chef Boyardee...so maybe all childhood isn't lost yet.
- 2/9/2006
Laziness is bliss...unless you're sick of being lazy. Basically, I can't get my lazy butt out of bed in
the morning. My alarm clock goes off at 5:30am, and I lounge around in the bed until 6:30am. WTF?!? That's an hour
of my life that I've wasted. If I would get up when the alarm sounds instead of shutting it off and crawling back under
the covers, I could make breakfast, do my morning chores, and be leisurely about it. I guess I've just never been a
morning person. It's kinda interesting being with someone who is a morning person. Oh well...guess I'll either learn
to be an early riser or be hurried in the morning with all the things that need my attention.
- 2/8/2006
It's no wonder we live in an overweight society. Everything in this day and age must be "sugar-coated".
I know I touched on this a little bit yesterday, but it still gets to me. I was listening to the radio this morning on
the way to work and heard that they plan to do away with hot cross buns because it's offensive to people who aren't
Christian. I guess I'm just sick of all this nonsense. Be whatever religion (or non-religion) you want to be and
don't give other people crap about their choices. I don't care...maybe that's my apathetic stand...but I don't get
offended easily and it's really strange to me that so many people do. Or maybe it's because a few big mouthed dumbasses
(forgive my language) actually got listened to one day, so all these other people decided to stir the shit (again,
excuse me). You know what it reminds me of? No offense to any one of a mature age out there, but it reminds me of those
old biddies who stand in line at a grocery store or what have you and complain about the specials or discounts or whatever,
demanding to see managers and wanting refunds and so forth. The whole country has become a bunch of old biddies. Why
can't people just let others live in peace? Are my actions (whatever they may be) really hurting you just because you
disapprove of them? Life is short...enjoy it. Don't just think of ways to fuck (again) it up for everyone else. That's a
pretty sad and pathetic existence, if you ask me.
- 2/7/2006
I hate the world we live in today. It's become a world where no one has to take responsibilities for
their own actions. It's become a world where you can't even tell jokes for fear that people will take them literally.
It's a world governed by lawsuits where you have to watch every little action, every word that comes out of your mouth
for fear that someone will find reason to sue you. What happened to taking responsibility for yourself? I do it. If
I walk out in the middle of oncoming traffic and get hit (it's happened), then I don't blame the driver for me not being
careful. If I put my hand on the hot coils of a stover burner, I don't blame the range company for my stupidity. If I
eat like a glutton at McDonald's knowing how bad the food is for health, I don't blame the fast food company for whatever
weight I gain down the road. It's called "common sense", and if you don't have it, then it's called "survival of the
fittest". People these days choose stupidity over common sense in the hopes of being able to profit from it later. That
is so wrong.
- 2/6/2006
Food cravings are the stomach's equivalent of having an annoying song stuck in it's head. It's like you'll
be sitting there all fine, and then your stomach starts singing that craving again. My craving for the moment? Spicy
chicken wings with lots of blue cheese dressing and celery stalks. All the sudden I feel like Homer Simpson.
- 2/3/2006
I'm coming to grip with my mood swings. It's been a long time coming, but I'm starting to realize that
no one else is responsible for whatever pain I'm feeling. I'm the one in control of my emotions, my pain, my stresses;
I'm the only to blame if I take something out of context or allow myself to feel bad over something I can't really
control or change immediately. Of course, certain actions that people take may cause me pain...I won't go into those
right now. But as for someone touting their personal successes to me, I don't know why I've become so bitter about that.
It's not like someone is really saying "Hey, look at how much better than you I am" (although that's how my twisted mind
interprets it in order to hurt me). It's more someone saying, "Hey, look at what I did and what makes me happy". I have
to learn to be happy for people. After all, there are things in my life I'm sure would make other people jealous. While
I'm not one to rub my successes in someone's face or toot my own horn a lot, I still have a lot of events and actions
to look forward to and be proud of. Besides, I like to think that one of my good friendship qualities is my ability to
listen to people, through good and bad situations. Isn't that what I always say attracts people to me?
Happy Groundhog's Day everyone. Six more weeks of winter. Ok, just let me know when winter is supposed to begin.
- 2/2/2006
