It's hard for me to concentrate these days. I have so much on my mind. Part of that is probably my insane desire to multi-task. It's funny that I complain so much about my job. The job I have is one that requires much multi- tasking, so it seems that I would be happy with it. I think that's the thing, though. I like to multi-task on my own terms. You know, checking email, writing cute little stories, updating blogs/message boards, event planning, etc. Those are all fun things I like to do. But when it comes to work (an ugly little 4-letter word), sometimes I just don't like to be bothered with it. Also, it's really hard to concentrate and complete one task if you know that at any moment you may be pulled in a different direction to complete another task. Oh well...it's not that big a deal. I think it's just that part of me that can't be satisfied by what I'm doing. Someday, I'll find the pleasure that comes with working...is that possible?

- 1/31/2006


Meet Stephanie...she's just one of the guys. At least that's how I feel I've always been treated by my male friends. Usually, I don't mind it. In fact, it's kinda cool. I guess because I feel like if I'm being treated like "one of the guys", then that means those guys think of me as cooler than the average chick (or at least, someone told me that's a possibility). Sometimes being "one of the guys" gets me down. Yes, I do occasionally resort to the female emote mode. Being "one of the guys" is fun sometimes, but sometimes the girly side of me wants guys (or people, in general) to notice that I am a beautiful woman who needs the occasional flattery. I've always kind of blended into the background, and people seek me out occasionally because I'm a good listener. I'm not like normal girls. I don't brag about myself a lot because I feel like the things I'm proud of aren't anyone else's business and don't make me "better" than anyone else by flaunting them. I'm not someone who's ego has to be "stroked" constantly, although the occasional caress is certainly welcome from time to time. But sometimes I do get fragile; sometimes I do feel unnoticeable, like a picture on the wall that's always there but never really looked at; sometimes I'm just a girl. And sometimes being "one of the guys" hurts.

- 1/30/2006


Cliff made a funny last night. Every night that we don't have something going on socially, I try to cook dinner for him. I'm certainly not the best cook, but I do well. I'm the "personal chef" of the household, and I really enjoy sharing my culinary masterpieces with others. I find a lot of peace in cooking. Maybe it's because cooking is something that requires my full concentration, so I can focus on trivial crap that agitates me. But the funny that Cliff made was he mentioned something about if I ever "boycott" making dinner. Hahahahahahahaha! (said with a bad Cockney accent) Not bloody likely!

- 1/26/2006


Do you remember the moment when you realized you are an adult? I don't think I remember a defining moment, but it's funny when you realize you no longer have a childlike mentality. Of course, some of the things I still do could be considered childish, but that's another point entirely. One of the things that made me think I was an adult is my caffeine addiction. A lot of people are addicted to caffeine, children included, but not everyone likes drinking coffee to get their caffeine fix. Please don't misunderstand. I certainly don't believe that liking coffee makes you an adult. I know that I've had coffee for as long as I can remember. One of my aunts makes a really good cup of coffee that's all sticky sweet and creamy. She used to let my sister and me drink some on the rare mornings when we would catch the bus from her house. But I think the reason I associate coffee drinking/addiction with adulthood is because I always remember my mom taking a thermos of coffee with her for her drive to work. I do that now too because my commute is a good 40 minutes. Actually, it's the thought of NOT having coffee in the morning that gets me. Even on days when we don't make a pot for our morning fix, I still buy a cup from the shop next to work. Yes, I'm addicted...but I don't want to attend Coffee Anonymous.

- 1/24/2006


Sleep deprivation sucks. Especially when you have to work the next day. Maybe partying on a Sunday night is rough, and I take responsibility for doing so. But it really sucks that Monday when you wake up and struggle with all the morning activities. What is worse is when you go to get your morning cup of coffee to remember that you used the last of the cream the day before. Milk will never be a good substitute for cream (although, it is tolerable).

- 1/23/2006


I'm a tank top girl. I like to wear tank tops and other little shirts year round. Here is my rant of the day...how is what I wear any business of yours? I get so tired of people chastising me because I'm wearing a tank top and it's January. Yes, I know it's cold outside. But perhaps I should introduce you to a term called "layering". You know, it's where you wear whatever you want and then put something that will keep you warm over it. I mean, modern technology has come a long way, and clothing industries tend to make these articles we call coats/jackets. Furthermore, I don't see how the way I dress or my comfort level should be any concern of yours. Frankly, unless there is a wardrobe malfunction to the likes of Janet Jackson, I don't feel that I should be scrutinized because I choose to wear tank tops in winter. I'm getting so tired of people asking me that question.

- 1/20/2006


Hmmm, seemed to have let the blog fall the wayside the last few days. It's to be expected since it's that busy time of year again. Ok, so I found it. I found an exercise program that will hopefully work for me. I did an impulse buy from an infomercial a few weeks back (actually, it wasn't much of an impulse since I thought about it for weeks after I had seen the commercial), and I got a lot of new exercise DVDs to try out. If it works out, I'll shout the name of the program from the rooftops. If it doesn't, then why steer people in that direction. Keeping my fingers crossed.

- 1/18/2006

What is going on? Classes haven't even started yet, and morning traffic is getting insane. Traffic in general is usually crappy, but I've noticed that during the school year, traffic is a lot more heavy. Classes don't begin until tomorrow. Where did all these people come from? Surely, they aren't all staff members, because if they were, where have they been for the past 3 weeks since students left for break? I hate commuting...any Raleigh jobs out there people want to point me to?

- 1/10/2006


I hate people. People suck big, fat, hairy goat butt. There are a few individuals I can tolerate, but on the whole, people suck. It's all about what people can get from others. Me, me, me...that's all the world thinks about anymore. Whatever...maybe hermit life wasn't such a bad deal.

- 1/9/2006


When did I become so morbid? Granted, liking horror movies doesn't make you morbid, per se. But when did I start yearning for horror? About the only movies I watch these days are either horror/thrillers or comedies. I never do the "chick flick" thing anymore. I don't have any desire to watch a bunch of sappy love stories. Real life is never like that anyway. If I want something fictional, give me something that could never happen in a million years. Give me zombies, give me humorous downfalls, give me anything but love. So, the reason for this rant is because I'm going to go see Hostel this weekend, but it made me start thinking that I'm probably in the minority in my zest for horror movies. I'm in a movie group, and I keep waiting for the perfect horror movie to come along to go see it with other horror enthusiast. It looks like that may take a while to happen.

- 1/6/2006


Finally updating for the new year. Ok, so how was my new year celebration? Fantastic! It was so much better than last year or the year before. The last 2 years, I think I fell asleep before 8pm. This year I was awake most of the night. Unfortunately, I got a little sick for the new year as well. But it was just physical ailments, so at least I didn't have the yucky flu feeling. Here's hoping that 2006 will be the most awesome year yet.

- 1/5/2006

12/1/2006 - 12/31/2006

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7/1/2006 - 7/31/2006

6/1/2006 - 6/30/2006

5/1/2006 - 5/31/2006

4/1/2006 - 4/30/2006

3/1/2006 - 3/31/2006

2/1/2006 - 2/28/2006

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2005 Archives

2004 Archives