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Does anyone else besides me get tired of the little "gangsta" posers? I get so fed up with hearing white teenage boys act like Jamie Kennedy in Malibu's Most Wanted. If these kids were really involved with gangs, they would be constantly wetting their pants, crying themselves to sleep at night, and otherwise cowering from their fellow gang members. What is it? Do they see the glamourous life of people like P. Diddy, and think "hmmm, if I act like another race then maybe I'll have shiny cars, lots of necklaces, and the ladies will love me." GET REAL! You know what you look like when you act that way? A damn fool! That's right, I said it. And by the way, "the" is spelled just like that. "Tha" is a lack of education. So, drop the poser act and get wise to the real deal because when it comes down to it you just look like an idiot and the "ladies" are laughing their little teenage butts off at you.
- 6/30/2006
Have I ever mentioned that I'm agoraphobic? It's not debilitating, but I do get panicky in crowded places. Last night, I was in line for Superman (the movie is ok, but there was too much lovey-dovey to it). Anyway, I kept getting really hot and flushed from being pressed around so many bodies. It's kind of funny how agoraphobia hits me. I don't always feel anxious when I'm in crowds, but sometimes it's more potent than others. Usually, when I have to be there for a long period of time without moving is when it affects me the most. Oh well...like I said, it's not debilitating. I'll just have to learn to live with it since the world population is obviously not getting any smaller.
- 6/29/2006
This one's for my sweetie. Not a rant, but a definite rave. Actually, it's more a deep thought. So, I recently was thinking about the phrase "he makes me happy", and I've come to realize how much I don't like that particular grouping of words. It seems to indicate that one's happiness is based solely on another person, and that's no way to live. I'll admit that I've used this phrasing of words to describe my feelings when I'm around my sweetie, but it's not really the accurate term. The more accurate phrase for how I feel is "I can't imagine being happier with anyone else." Because the truth is that while I prefer having someone to dote on, care for, and otherwise spoil rotten, I am content in myself so that I can be alone. There is a difference between being "alone" (by oneself) and being "lonely" (feeling that you are incomplete without another person with you). Although, I admit that Cliff does fill a certain void in my life that I didn't realize was there before, I still don't feel I was lonely. I was just alone, but content and the Ms. Independent that I've always been. While I'm still Ms. Independent (ie, able to take care of myself), I much prefer being in the company of someone who understands me and in some ways, completes me. Too bad for Cliff...he had to be the one to gain that curse. Tee hee!
- 6/28/2006
Sometime recently I wrote a short line about how much gossip sucks. Not that I'm one to talk, because I sometimes gossip. But usually it's more me ranting about someone who has wronged me rather than spreading untruths about them. Anyway, I find rumors and gossip to be so funny. I don't know why people find it necessary to put me at the center of gossip. Luckily, I don't think that happens much anymore...but there is still some lingering rumors out there. The reason I find it funny is that if people actually got to know me, the real me and not the person they think I am based on rumors, then they would find the following characteristics in me:
- I'm an independent woman. I've had the same stable job for over 5 years, and I'm able to provide for myself.
- I was very shy and wallflower-ish in high school and part of college. I'm now living out some "wild hairs", and I don't hurt anyone doing so. I'm still young, and I'm finding out who I am.
- I don't talk about people that I don't know that well. Anyone who gets a negative word from me deserves it based on my personal experiences with them.
- I have a stable relationship with someone I really care about, and we've been together for more than a year. I am not someone whose "wild hairs" includes sleeping around. But I don't care if other people choose that lifestyle. It's just not for me.
- I am very passionate about things, which is why I get involved in so many different activities. One of my passions is my love for animals and their wellbeing. Most of the time the charities that I choose to donate to are animal related.
- I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I get along with most people until I realize that the person has wronged me. At that point, I realize that I don't really have room or time in my life for such BS, and I let the friendship go. Maybe that's one of my downfalls, but it's just the way I am. There is no point in attempting to nurture a relationship with a person not meant to be your friend.
- I love to laugh, and I prefer being around people who are the same way. If your only reason for coming around me is to see if I fit all the gossip going on, then I have no use for you. Come to meet me because you want to, not to gather ammunition to use against me later. I can be the life of the party, until someone rubs me the wrong way.
- I am tolerant of people and their choices. I don't care what you do, but I also know that I don't have to participate. However, if your choice is to sit around and mindlessly bash people you don't know, then I probably won't have much to do with you. That's one of the things I'm not tolerant of.
- I don't offend easily. Maybe that's because I'm one of the people who offend, but in general, I don't set out to offend people, and I try not to let others offend me. People are who they are, and if you are just living your life, having fun, and not hurting anyone else, what's wrong with that?
So, that's me in a nutshell for anyone out there wondering. Make your own opinions, but at least try to base them on truth.
- 6/27/2006
Why do some people make it their mission in life to see others fail? Why can't people just deal with friendly competition? Why do people try to feign maturity when their actions speak differently? These are the questions I pondered as I drove to work this morning. It's something I've been faced with recently, and it's something that gets on my nerves. I know that if I put my mind to something, I will achieve. I also know that while I have moments of negativity towards others, I never seek out to purposefully sabotage them. This is the problem with wanting to establish friendships and acquaintances with people. The longer you know people, the more you want to separate yourself from the attitudes, immaturity, and so forth that most people are prone to. It's times like these that I miss hermit mode...
- 6/26/2006
Ok, I saw a movie last night that underscored the fact that I don't want to have kids. It had nothing to do with bratty children or any of that, but there was a scene from a birth. It was almost too much for me to handle. Cliff had to look away, but I just kept watching. If I can remember that image of that big head stretching out the woman's pleasure zone, then maybe it will be enough to remind me that giving birth is not a good thing. It was like some alien being was springing forth from her body...all purple and covered with fluid. Disgusting! I get the willies just thinking about it. The woman on the movie said that you're not really a woman until you're a mother. Well, I'd rather stay a little girl or non-woman than have that happen to me. :: Shudder, shudder ::
- 6/23/2006
Fat. I get so tired of hearing that word. It seems like everyday someone is talking about how fat they are, how fat they used to be, how fat someone else is, how much fat some food has....grrrrr, it's just frustrating. Yes, America is overweight, but inevitably it's about self-control. You can't blame others for all the delicious food that's around if you are stuffing it in your face every 5 minutes. I guess I just get tired of all the focus people have on looks. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?
- 6/22/2006
Ok, it's been a few days since my last post, and I have 2 rants to share. Actually, these 2 rants came up today, so go figure.
- I don't like going to the doctor. It's not because I don't want to spend the money to make sure I'm healthy. I just get tired of going to doctors and having them lecture about not taking care of myself. Since when did doctors become people's parents? Sure, they may know best if you are doing something you shouldn't be doing that deteriorates your health, but it's MY life. If I don't want to listen, that's my perogative. And I'm not going to venture out to the doctor very often if they keep lecturing me everytime I go.
- I hate when people sneak up behind me while I'm working. Sometimes, I will take a short break from staring at an email or database all day and just surf the net for a minute to check message or just to see different sites. It really irks me when anyone has something to say about it. I mean, I don't go over to other people's desks and tell them they need to get to work if they are goofing off. I know that most of the time, people are just kidding around, but lately (probably because of moving frustrations and such), I'm just not in the mood for joking.
- 6/21/2006
Rumors suck...but not as badly as the people who spread them.
- 6/16/2006
Do I really need to watch my language? For whatever reason, sometimes I lose the censor button on my lips. This isn't a problem except for the fact that I sometimes curse in public. But why should that matter? I know a few people I've been around is like "there's kids over there". So what? They aren't my kids, and it's really the parents' job to raise their children. If they don't want their kids exposed to foul language, then they shouldn't bring them out in public. As far as I remember, freedom of speech is still part of the first amendment, so I'm not going to curb my tongue for anyone so long as I'm not telling blatant lies.
- 6/13/2006
Why are people generally so rude? Everyone has their moments of rudeness whether they mean to or not. But in general, why is there not common courtesy for other people at public venues? Here are some examples of incidences to which I am referring.
- You go to a restaurant for a nice quiet meal with your significant other or a small group of friends. You didn't bring any screaming, bratty children into the restaurant. However, some couple brings in their most rebellious demon spawn offspring, and they are seated right next to you. Now, I know that people who have children should have the right to take their kids in public. However, I would never, EVER bring a child to a restaurant that does not know how to behave or listen. It's an embarrassment.
- You go to the movies and pay a decent amount of money to watch something you really want to see. The people who end up sitting behind you talk in normal conversational tones throughout the entire movie. You really want to just stand up and scream at them or get management but you just sit there, fuming silently. I realize that people sometimes want to make a comment to their friends about something that just happened, but whenever I do that, I lean over and whisper. I don't just start a conversation in my normal speaking voice about something because it's rude to the other people around you who paid the same amount to see the same movie.
- I would get started on the road rage rant, but everyone already knows how rude people can be when they are driving anywhere.
In general, I try not to be rude. I usually follow the "do unto others" policy, but of course, there is occasion when I forget those little common courtesies. Either way, people's rudeness gives me reason to rant, right?
- 6/12/2006
I am so sleepy. It feels like it's been a really long week. Maybe it's because I'm finally being
disciplined. Every morning this week (with the exception of Thursday because of a late Wednesday night) I've gotten up
early to do some exercise, fix breakfast, and take care of all my other morning chores. Is it ok that I'm proud of
myself for this? It's something that's been a long time coming, and I just hope I can keep up this new routine. TGIF,
though!
-6/9/2006
What does the party group do for me? This is question I ask myself. Coordinating and posting events in any
group is just begging for drama in one's life, but I'm willing to deal with that. Actually, if you can believe it, the
party group has calmed me down. I don't have as much to rant about these days because I'm relatively happy. I have a
great guy, friends that actually like me for me and not what I can do for them, and stability. Organizing the party
group is really just something that helps me occupy my time. I do events I want to do, and if other people don't want to
come out, I'm still going to have a great time. For the most part, I stay at home. I'm happy with domestic routine, and
getting out for events with the party group is just a way for me to feel like I have a social life. I guess I still get
a little skittish about social situations because there are so many bitches and assholes in the world. It's funny, in the
course of my "social emergence", I've found many people I don't like and care not to deal with. There are certain people
who have decided to be mad at me through only fault of their own (I'm sure I had a part to do with it, but it takes 2 right),
so instead of having the extra drama or coddling in my life, I just don't deal with it. Probably not the best attitude, but
you only live once...why spend any portion of your life stressing over asisnine incidences?
- 6/7/2006
I'm in a nostalgic, possibly somewhat bitter mood at the moment. I was just thinking about my ferrets.
I guess having their pictures a few feet from me may be another reason for this. Truth is, that I really miss the little
balls of energetic sleepiness. They were so much fun. I want ferrets again in the future, but for the moment, I'm still
a little tender from their passing. But I think the "bitter" part of this entry is that I was thinking about the ferret
club I used to help. Yes, I'm a grudge-holder. I don't know why...I guess it's just the way I am. I haven't been in that
club in almost 2 years, and still I feel a bit scathed by the people there. I mean, I was just trying to help. All I ever
wanted to do was help make things good for the ferrets, but ego and circumstance gets in the way for some people. Maybe
for me too...who knows? Hmmmm, 2 years and still holding a grudge. When will I ever learn? Either way, I'm really happy
there is a ferret club in this area, even if I can't be a member of it. They are really passionate and knowledgable about
ferrets, and I find it lucky that we can offer other ferret owners in the area this resource (even if I can't help).
- 6/1/2006
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