Remember my post about liking outdoor activities? You should, I wrote it yesterday.
Well, anyway, I think I forgot to mention that I bruise easily. I mean, I played volleyball for
like an hour and a half yesterday, and now I have 2 big bruises on my arm. Guess that means that
I play hard huh? Well, a few times I found myself up to my elbows in sand. I think playing sand
volleyball is better than court volleyball because there is less impact and a softer landing.
But at least I am improving my game.
- 4/28/2005
I like doing outdoor activities. I never was much for the outdoors when I was growing
up, but now I like getting out and about. I still don't like communing with nature, necessarily,
but I like doing athletic type stuff. Tonight I'm going to play volleyball, which is unfortunate
for the team that gets stuck with me. I'm not very good at volleyball, but luckily, it's just a
social event. One good thing about playing at night: no sunburn.
- 4/27/2005
I'm convinced that I can't win a game of pool unless it's on a technicality. I
don't like winning like that. I would rather win on a trick shot, behind the back type of move,
but it's usually because the other player scratches on the 8 ball or the 8 ball goes into a
pocket that wasn't called. Either way, I need to fine tune my pool playing skills. I think
pool is too mathematical a game for me. I was never good at geometry, so trying to figure out
the right angles in which to sink a shot is a little over my head.
- 4/26/2005
I realized this weekend that I am hypersensitive in certain situations. Basically,
I don't like being put on the spot, particularly around people I don't know that well. I'm not
going to go into explanations, I guess I'm just a private person. I want people to know about me,
but I have to be the one to volunteer the information. I basically shut down and shut people out
when someone tries to wheedle info out of me. I guess I'm just afraid of how scary my puny skeletons
might be if I let them out.
- 4/25/2005
Confidence is a great thing. It makes you lift your head up and look people in
the eye. It makes you walk with your back straight and your shoulders thrown back. It makes
people notice you positively. It makes you feel good about yourself. And I think that last
point is definitely the most important. When you feel good about yourself, other people will
definitely take notice. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. So, I have a little
more skip in my step, and I'm looking up when I walk instead of at my shoes. Wow, I forgot
what a beautiful world it can be.
- 4/22/2005
When did I become so girlie? Yesterday, I went shopping. SHOPPING!! I don't
usually go shopping. I don't like to shop, especially for clothes (ick). How did I get so
girlie? I bought 3 outfits yesterday. I usually don't buy 3 outfits in one year. When did
this happen? Not that I'm really complaining all that much. It's just an interesting twist
that now I'm enjoying the prospect of putting on cute clothes. Now, I'm trying to train
myself not to go for the safe choices I always get (like black pants or black anything or things
that are baggy on me). I'm actually picking out things with color and shape. I mean, I'm
wearing a fuschia colored shirt today and there is pink in my pants. Wow, I must have gotten
brain-washed in my sleep.
- 4/21/2005
For someone who goes to as many events as I do, I'm very anti-social. I went to
an event on Monday with some great people. The problem is there were 40 of these great people,
and I was totally overwhelmed. I kinda stood off to the side and watched everyone else interact.
Well, occasionally, someone would come over and attempt to chisel at that shell I had created
around myself...but I was just kinda feeling closed off. I know why, but I won't go into all
the sordid reasons here. Anyway, it's just interesting that I appear to be so involved but crack
when there's lots of people. Must still be some of that hermit left in me.
- 4/20/2005
Below is the information for the May book club meeting. If you would like to read
this book and/or attend the lunch discussion, please email me at the address at the bottom of the
screen so we will know how many to expect.
Date: May 14
Time: 12pm
Place: Assaggio's
Italian Bistro in Raleigh
Book: ONE
FOR THE MONEY by Janet Evanovich
Don't like our book/restaurant choices? Want to be involved with the planning? Anyone who wants to
be a member of this book club or even wants to just come for lunch is welcome. If you don't like
the books we have chosen and have your own ideas, please come and contribute your thoughts. We pick
books we can mutually agree upon, so your input is important. For information about the June meeting,
please email me. We will be reading AMERICAN GODS by Neil Gaiman.
- 4/18/2005
I guess I'm ready to talk about it. Back in March, I hinted about a terrible event
that happened that kept me from updating my blog. Well, the terrible event was that my daddy
died. I miss him so much. We were really close. He was the only member of my family who called
me regularly. And I am so sad that I'll never see him again. Even now, I'm tearing up just
thinking about it. But eventually, I'm going to do a tribute for my dad. I just can't right now.
It's too hurtful. And the sad thing is that I can't really lean on my family for support because
I just end up getting upset all over again. I guess everyone deals with it in their own way, and
I just have to deal with it privately. The most important man in my life is gone, and I'm having
trouble accepting it.
- 4/13/2005
I'm really lucky I don't have much of an allergy to pollen. Sometimes, my eyes and
throat get a little itchy, but other than that, I seem to be fine. I remember one year I had a
really bad reaction to pollen, but nothing for a while. I'm definitely lucky, particularly since
the pollen is so bad this year. I know a lot of people who are really miserable right now. You
couldn't pay me enough to be in their shoes...I remember what it feels like.
- 4/12/2005
I'm not a Barbie Doll. I've never claimed to be. But I am beautiful, and I don't
care what people think about that. I had a horrible self-esteem when I was younger, so now I
won't let myself get stuck in the trap. I can look in the mirror and be proud of my face and
realize that people who think I'm not pretty, who don't want to get to know me because of their
own issues...well, they aren't worth my shoe dirt. I haven't met people like this lately, so
that's refreshing. It's just a constant reminder to myself that I'm proud of me and all I am.
Wallowing in self-pity is a waste of your life, so I refuse to do it any longer.
- 4/8/2005
I know I just recently got internet service, so it's a little early for me to start
complaining about it. But then again, I rant about anything, so why should this be any different?
I'm really thinking about getting high speed internet because dial-up is so incredibly boring.
I'll still use my cell phone attachment when I'm travelling, but I'm thinking Road Runner or
Earthlink is the way to go. Now, making the decision about which one is a different story.
Whatever I decide to do, I know that I don't want to be forced to get cable because, frankly, I
don't want cable. I feel like the 2 shows I watch a week give me more than enough time in front of
the TV. But I'll figure this all out later. I won't be getting either service until I get my
finances in order (which may come sooner than I expected).
- 4/7/2005
I left my disk at home yesterday, so I couldn't write about the awesome victory that
UNC had over Illinois (75-70). That's right, my boys have finally brought home the championship. It's
been 12 years since their last victory, and I must say that Roy Williams has been a fine coach for
the team. Ok, I don't follow basketball as closely as I should, but I'm always rooting for my
Heels to win. I try not to get too involved in sports because I used to hang out with a crowd
that was way involved, and there was a lot of frustration that got taken care of by flipping
couches and breaking glasses. I can't deal with that, so I don't follow it too much (unless there
is an important game on, like the NCAA Finals where the Tarheels are whooping up on some poor,
unsuspecting team).
- 4/6/2005
I have a confession to make. I care too much about what other people think. I
don't know why this is. Maybe it's still that insecurity I had in high school leaking over into
my adult life. I was kind of a misfit in high school, so I guess now, more than anything, I want
to be accepted. So, I take to heart too much what people think of me. It's something I need to
work on because ultimately, it doesn't matter what people think of you, but what you think of
yourself. Luckily, I have people who will stroke my ego when I need it, so hopefully, I'll be
able to climb out of that insecure state.
- 4/1/2005
